a kind word and a gentle reassurance are some of the most helpful actions you can take as your partner goes through tough, stressful times. Joni Johnson, director of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute, explains that a loving response is just the thing stressed partners needs. It calms the stress centers in the brain and makes your anxious partner more resilient to endure the problems she's facing.
Step 1

Determine the source of the stress. Don't assume the top-of-mind topics are really the issue. Look beneath the surface. Retrace your partner's steps to find events or circumstances that could have caused hurt, sadness, anger, disappointment, rejection or similar emotions. If you can be of assistance with the real issue at hand, ask your partner if you can take steps to do so. For example, your can help more with household chores, help your partner meet a deadline or take over some important task. Ask -- your involvement may or may not be wanted.
Step 2

Consider that you or your actions may be part of the stress your partner is feeling. Release your partner from any demands that led to the most-recent stress response. Also, don't overwhelm your partner with talk about the problem. This adds to her stress. Allow your partner time to calm down after stressful periods, such as when she comes home from work. Help by creating space for her to process her emotions and rest.
Step 3

Follow the money. Financial stress triggers relationship stress. A report by "Psychology Today" noted that 15 percent of couples fight about money several times each month. If your partner is dealing with a layoff, salary cut, working longer hours or more than one job to keep head above water, expect that stress to come home with her. Know that you may bear the brunt of her anger and frustration. Be a part of the solution. Discuss ways to resolve the financial problems and quickly act on them -- whether it means cutting expenses, getting another source of income, moving, selling items or negotiating with creditors.
Step 4

Create time. As work life and other responsibilities spill over into family time, fight back to manage your time at home. Give time to your relationship. Let your partner know that no priority is more important than her.
Step 5

Affirm your support. Say the words and perform the deeds that convey your support. Both are equally important. Your partner's sense of your love and support may be just what she needs to carry on. You become a safe haven, a soft place to fall after dealing with stressful events outside the home. Be the voice of reason and the arms of comfort for your mate. Acknowledge the stress and recognize that it is a normal reaction under the circumstances. Remind her that your support is unwavering. It'll ease the anxiety she's feeling.
Step 6

Learn to anticipate emotional triggers that create a stress response in your partner. Determine what creates the most stress, and -- if you can -- cut it off at the pass. Such offensive strategies can decrease the impact of inevitable stressful times.
Step 7

Cultivate resilience in your relationship. Resilience is the most important defense people have against stress, says the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Be an example to your partner by always asking for what you need. Acknowledge that this requires you to show your vulnerability, but it also sets up a pattern for her to follow when she's in need. Also be flexible, emotionally close, communicate well and show trust and confidence. Show compassion when your partner is down and blames herself for the problems she's facing.